Here’s an essay that I wrote for our local newspaper a few months into Paul’s deployment.

I received hundreds of emails, phone calls, and letters about that article.

It was heartwarming to hear from so many military families who could relate to what I wrote. Deployment can be so isolating, and sometimes you feel like you may be the only one out there who feels the way you do.

Of course, I also got some not-so-nice feedback. Some of it I would qualify as hate mail. They called me ignorant, uneducated and just plain stupid. One woman told me that if I had just forced my husband to stay home, I would be happy and could quit my sniveling about the tractor. (Umm, have you met my husband? I’m pretty sure I couldn’t force him to do anything – least of all turn his back on his duty as a soldier. Nor would I want to.)

Others pointed out that I might be suffering from depression – or insanity. Which I tried to see as helpful, well-meaning feedback.

But my personal favorite was the woman who was sure that as a former News Anchor I had the resources to solve the problems of every struggling military wife out there. (Believe me, I wish I did!) She didn’t feel that by starting Heroes At Home I was doing “enough.” I can’t wait to see the very helpful business that she must be starting! I’m sure if she’s willing to criticize me, she must be dedicating even *more* time and energy to helping military families herself.

But actually, I enjoyed reading every single one of the “negative” letters just as much as the “positive” ones. (Well, almost as much.) I think it’s great that people disagree with me. Paul has spent much of his career risking his life so that they have that right – and I’m thrilled to see them using it. And many of them have made excellent points. They feel that speaking out about the war is an important part of democracy. I agree with that. I certainly wasn’t in favor of going to war to begin with.

So let me be clear about this: I’m not asking people not to protest. I think they should stand up for what they believe in. I am suggesting that maybe we consider where those protests are directed. It’s the policymakers who need to hear you, not the soldiers. March outside the White House, write to your lawmakers, elect a President who will end the war. I support all these things. What I can’t support is picketing outside gatherings of soldiers.

Sometimes, Paul calls me from the office to say he had to walk through demonstrators in order to go to lunch. That doesn’t make sense to me. My husband can’t stop this war, and neither can anyone else who works inside that building. This war is hard on all of us – especially the men and women fighting it – and all the negativity makes the situation even harder. All I’m asking is that we remember that there are situations in which mis-directing our protests can cause a lot of pain for the very people fighting for our rights.