Your #1 Deployment Survival Tool

As your spouse prepares to deploy, you may notice that the checklists come out. There is a lot of equipment needed to keep him/her safe while away from home. But it’s also a time to start thinking about what will get you safely (and sanely) through the deployment. Spouses who are deployment veterans know the number on survival tool is the “Battle Buddy”: another military spouse who understands what you’re going through.

“Having a friend that was tied to the deployment and could relate to my mix of emotions – frustration, selfishness, anger, loneliness, love and pride  – is what I credit for helping me survive the year,” says Kelly, whose husband is a Senior NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer) in the National Guard. Erin, the wife of an Army Captain, agrees. “It was very important for me to be surrounded by other military wives who were sharing the difficulties that come with a deployment… whether it’s the separation angst or the disasters at home that always seem to happen once he leaves.”

How do you find a Battle Buddy? Attend your post’s FRG (Family Readiness Group) meetings, or hold a luncheon for the other spouses in your soldier’s uit. If you don’t live on a base, introduce yourself to someone with a military sticker on their car, or post a note on Craigslist and be a catalyst for getting military spouses in your area together. It only takes one person that you click with to provide invaluable support during a deployment. And don’t limit your choices because of different backgrounds or your husband’s rank. Kelly’s Battle buddy was an officer’s wife who, at first glance, she had nothing in common with.

“But friends that I’ve had for 25 years didn’t understand me the way my DBF (Deployment Best Friend) did. There’s just a bond there that can’t be put into words – It was even hard to explain to my husband how much my DBF meant to me, or that her friendship is the reason I was as strong as I was.”

Read more from Katie and Kelly about how they became Battle Buddies.
Email us with your DBF stories!