Nothing can dampen a deployment like arguing over money with your spouse at home. No family is immune to the challenges of managing a budget, especially from across the world! What I think worked well for Kelly and me was to sit down well in advance and do some simple math: what money is coming in (income) and what money is going out (bills). Hopefully there will be some left over and that can be the tricky part.

Direct deposit and allotments are great tools the military has set up for soldiers. Allotments are not available yet to Guard and Reserve soldiers when drilling but are available when on active duty orders, like a deployment. Allotments are payments that can be made directly to the bank or creditor of your choice before you ever see your pay. This is a great way to insure the big bills like mortgages and car payments are always made. Be sure to see your pay clerk for more details on how to set an allotment up.

Kelly and I both set aside some “fun” money to spend on whatever we felt like. The PX (Post Exchange) is full of “must have” gadgets for deployed soldiers like iPods and video games. Although a soldier may not normally rush out and spend money on these things at home, deployments are different. It is very easy to tell yourself “I’m in a combat zone, I deserve it!” This is equally as easy to do if you are the spouse of the deployed soldier and have been left alone with the kids etc. Sometimes a big purchase can feel like a quick pick me up but can have serious consequences. Instead of just saying “screw it” and blowing the money your spouse was planning on buying this week’s groceries or gas with, set some money aside for yourself ahead of time each month that you know no one else is counting on. Just be realistic about how much that is!

Communication is the key to most things but especially finances. Be open and honest with each other and yourself. Set a budget and stick to it. But remember, your spouse is human and under just as much stress as you are, if not more. Have some flexibility and be patient with each other if and when a mistake or an unexpected expense comes up. It’s just a part of life. Money comes and goes but your relationship should stay solid.

Read Deployment Finances I: What You Need to Know Before They Go
Read Deployment Finances II: Setting Financial Goals During a Deployment
Read Deployment Finances III: Retirement Planning