Today, I was talking to a very wise military wife whose husband is a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy. They’ve been married for about 15 years, and she is no stranger to deployment. Here’s what she told me: ‘The difference between a wife whose husband is deployed, and a widow or a divorced wife is […]

Before he left, Mark and I worried daily about how our children were going to be affected by the deployment. We weren’t as concerned about our relationship, and we prepared for how to handle issues at home, but we were very concerned about how Mark’s absence would affect our toddler son. Our daughter was fortunately […]

Having a friend to go through the deployment with me is something that I will always cherish and credit for me surviving the year. I can’t say enough about the value of having someone ‘on your side’ during such a hard year. Friends I have had since college, or even childhood, could not understand my […]

I really felt it was important to know as much as possible about Mark’s deployment – both the good and the bad. Yes… there were times when it was hard to move on with my day, see patients and pretend ‘life is great’ when I just heard from my husband that they were hit with […]

Paul and I decided long before he left that we would implement the much-frowned-upon ‘complete honesty’ policy during the deployment. I’m SO glad we did. When your spouse is deployed, you’re going to be nervous and frightened – There’s no way around it. I spent much of the year feeling like that, and yes, those […]

During difficult times like deployments we naturally never want to pile on or bring unnecessary stress on each other. Some couples and families choose to censor their experiences both on the homefront and on the front line. There are many degrees of censorship that loved ones practice during deployments and each family must decide what […]

When I look back on the year Paul was deployed, I remember it as one of the hardest years I have ever been through. But I also know it could have been much harder if I hadn’t met Kelly. Paul and Mark didn’t know each other before they deployed together, and it was just luck […]

The Oregon Sentinel did a nice profile on Katie. Click here and scroll to page 4 to see it. I’m so proud of my wife!

Your #1 Deployment Survival Tool As your spouse prepares to deploy, you may notice that the checklists come out. There is a lot of equipment needed to keep him/her safe while away from home. But it’s also a time to start thinking about what will get you safely (and sanely) through the deployment. Spouses who […]

How Much Should You Share? During a deployment, many couples face tough decisions about how honest to be about problems at home… and about combat situations that the soldier is facing. Emails and phone calls may be few and far between, and some spouses don’t want to use up that time complaining. Likewise, soldiers may […]